Do you have a CLEAR VISION for your Family?

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Have you ever thought about the fact that vision fuels our world? Vision is essential for businesses to be successful, and accomplish the goal of any organization. Professional sporting teams have a vision statement. Olympic teams have a vision statement. The Local church has a vision statement. College Students, Teachers, News Stations, Hospitals, Doctors, Lawyers, Accountants, Business men and Business women all have a vision for their life.

In fact, I think it is safe to say that any person or group of people who seek to accomplish something meaningful in life has a vision for what it is they want to accomplish, and a mission for how they plan on accomplishing it. Everywhere we turn in life, we have vision statements to keep us on track. We do this so that we can stay focused in accomplishing what we have set out to do.

What About Our Marriage and Family?

However, when it comes to having a clear and attainable vision for the most important area of our lives; namely our marriages and our families, many of us haven’t got a clue as to what that vision should look like, or how to even go about creating a clear and attainable vision for this vitally important area of life. Statistics prove to us that well over 50% of those who read this article have had a horrible example set for them while growing up, and therefore when they enter into a marriage covenant they have little to no idea of what a good marriage, and a godly family should actually look like.

The saying is true that good marriages and godly families are no accident. All good marriages, and all godly families follow a clear guide, not only in the way they do marriage, but in the way they navigate through life as a family unit.

Did you know that the Bible tells us in Proverbs 29:18, “When there is no vision, the people perish.” Let me repeat myself, good marriages are no accident and godly families are no accident either. To be married and not have a vision for your marriage and your family is a dangerous place to be in life. Why? Because when there is no shared vision between husband and wife, there usually ends up being two separate visions that are vying for control in the marriage. And Jesus is quite clear when a house is divided it cannot stand (Mark 3:25).

So how do we develop a CLEAR VISION for our marriages and for our families? This past Sunday night, the Family Life Group at Bible Fellowship Church asked this same question. We then decided to put our years of marriage and parenting experience together, and come up with some ideas for what a CLEAR VISION for our marriages and our families could look like.

Because every marriage and family has a different rhythm within their home and in their life, it is impossible for this to be a cookie-cutter process. Instead, through purposeful prayer, and realistic expectations, each couple should find what will work best for their marriage and their approach to parenting, while at the same time giving themselves permission to make adjustments as needed, whenever needed.

We can’t always control career and financial goals, but we can control our family DNA, when it comes to our character as individuals, as well as our spiritual growth. We can also control what type of influence we have over our children, especially in our example of what a relationship with Jesus looks like, what marriage should look like, and what parenting should look like.

Below is the outline that our group came up with together, that can be used as suggestions in how to begin developing a CLEAR VISION for your marriage and family unit. 

Creating a CLEAR VISION for your Marriage and Family

1. Daily Investments (Vision) & Practical ways to make Deposits into these Investments
  • Investing in God daily
    • Create a Rhythm for yourself and your family – by scheduling prayer/devotion/quality time
    • Devotions (personal and family)
    • Daily prayer (personal and family)
    • Be determined to grow yourself and your family spiritually
    • As a family, we will be committed to creating and investing in other Christ-centered relationships also
  • Investing in our Marriages daily
    • Real authentic communication with your spouse
    • Carving out time each day for family
    • Intentionally think of your spouse before yourself
    • Make a conscience effort to do something for your spouse each day
    • “Date” your spouse
    • We will be accountable to one another for the sake of maintaining a "we are on the same team" attitude and outlook
    • Investing in our Children
      • Love is a 4 letter word that Children spell T-I-M-E. Therefore, daily one-on-one time with each child is a vital goal for investing in your children
      • Look for ways to bring God into as many life-situations as you possibly can with your kids. A simple question to initiate this would be, "What do you think God is doing in this situation?" This question can be followed up with, "What does the Bible say about this?" If you are not sure what the Bible says about a certain situation you can say, "Let's look together and see what God's Word says about this subject."
      • Make a conscience effort to do something for your kids each day
      • Regularly do activities with your child/children that they would enjoy
      • Make memories with your children that they will be able to have as adults, and in turn possibly pass on to their kids (i.e. camping trips, fishing trips, short-term missions trips, Skiing, Sports, Disneyland, family vacations, family movie nights, family game nights, etc.)
      • When we blow it with our kids (and we will blow it) we must be willing to humble ourselves and be willing to apologize to them 
    Remember, good marriages and godly families do not happen by accident. There is absolutely NO CHANCE of ever arriving at these places by accident. The only way our vision for our marriage and family will happen, is if we are diligent in how we approach our Daily Investments.

    2. Future Goals: The Future Return on the Daily Investments we are making now
    • Our Relationship with God
      • Jesus is and will continue to be at the Center of our Marriage and Family
      • God's Word is the final authority for our Marriage and Family
      • We will be committed to Spiritual Growth
      • We will be committed to our local church
      • We will be committed to being a Family on Mission
      • We will be committed to serving God in the local church
      • We will be committed to serving God together in various ways by being "others focused" (i.e. Short-term mission trips, Church Ministry, Local outreaches, Service projects/activities, etc) 
    • Our Marriage Relationship
      • Strong marriage relationship after children are gone
      • Strive to maintain a healthy relationship in our marriage, and with others
      • Provide a stable foundation
      • Continue Dating your spouse
    • Our Relationship with our Children
      • Raising children to have a personal relationship with Jesus
      • Raising children to develop their own personal faith
      • Raising children with a desire to serve
    As you can see, creating a Clear Vision for your marriage and family is a huge commitment, and may take a major overhaul in how you are currently doing life at home, but the payoffs for such determined action will be major, not only in your life, but in the life of your children, and their children, and hopefully their children's children.

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